his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
