Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
