She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i believe in u and ur pee
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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