Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
