I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
