I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
