So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
smell my finger.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
