I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
