it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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