Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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