Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
