Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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