im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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