he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
time to smoke my breakfast
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
