You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
