Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
