it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
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Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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