Where is the hickey?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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