Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
