They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
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I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
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I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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