Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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