he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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