i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm bleeding and have questions
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
