you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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