U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
