I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
