I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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