yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
