We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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