Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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