nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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