But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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