Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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