He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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