So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
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She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
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i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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