Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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