3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize