You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
