no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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