i barfeds in our rink
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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