Slut skills are useful in every country.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
