I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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