also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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