uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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