2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
