Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
