i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize