Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
