So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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