is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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