No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
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Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
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Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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