Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
