We're like a lot better than the average bears
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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