rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
