Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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