as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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