there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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