Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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