Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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