Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
